‘Tis the season for family, food and…survival. In my world, that means a nice stiff drink. While it’s nice to muse over the notion of simmering pots of Glögg or the 25-hour long process that goes into homemade eggnog, sometimes you need something stronger and faster. I’ve scoured the internet and my liver and come up with some very tasty treats that can be made in under 5 minutes. Whether it’s for wow-ing your guests, or for dealing with weird Uncle Mel, here’s some helpful holiday cocktail recipes that will help New Years come just a little bit faster.
*You’re gonna need a cocktail shaker, or a pint glass and a plastic social cup that fits inside that you flip end-to-end…otherwise known as a hillbilly shaker. Either way, something you can put liquid and ice in and shake for a second. An empty jar with a lid will do, if you must. Get creative, people. Just don’t get sober.
Sidecar
(my personal favourite, so if you’re looking to get a gal a drink…)
Needed:
Chilled cocktail glass or rocks glass
¾ oz Cointreau
¾ oz fresh lemon juice
1.5 oz cognac *
*like all good Prohibition-era drinks, there is argument over what goes into a Sidecar and what the ratios should be. You can replace cognac with brandy, and you can do an even 1/3 split on all ingredients. I actually like to have less lemon juice than that, just a splash is fine. Tinker with it to taste
Mix in a cocktail shaker with ice to chill the liquor, pour into your desired glass, and enjoy. You can garnish with a lemon rind if you want to get fancy.
Candy Cane Martini
(this one is kind of heavy)
Needed:
Chilled cocktail glass; you can rim it with crushed candy cane if you really want to go the extra mile. Just crush the cane into tiny pieces and flip the glass upside down—wet just the rim with water or simple syrup and then dip it lightly in the candy.
¾ oz berry flavoured vodka ¾ oz peppermint schnapps (yes, I said schnapps)
¾ oz crème de cacao
¼ oz grenadine
half and half
soda water
Pour all liquors into a shaker with ice and mix. Pour into the (fancy) cocktail glass..fill the rest of the glass halfway with half and half, and top off with soda water to cut it. If you want it less thick, use more soda water and less half and half.
The Grinch
(ok, really, you can call any green martini The Grinch. Feel free to use apple liqueur if you want!)
Needed:
Chilled cocktail glass, maraschino cherry
2 oz melon liqueur
½ oz fresh lemon juice
1 tsp simple syrup (which is just equal parts regular sugar and water boiled together until clear…don’t waste your money buying this stuff. Make a cup, save it.)
Ready? It’s gonna sound familiar. Mix together in a shaker with ice. Pour into chilled glass. Garnish with cherry for some Christmas flair.
Vanilla Old Fashioned
Needed:
Rocks glass
¼ oz simple syrup
1 inch piece of orange zest
1 inch piece of a vanilla bean, broken up
2 dashes of orange bitters (less than a tsp)
2 oz bourbon
Mush the bean, zest, bitters and simple syrup in the bottom of the glass (called “muddling,” it’s essentially the same as using a mortal and pestle). Add the bourbon on top, then a few ice cubes to keep it chilled. Garnish with extra orange slice if you want.
English Harvest
(this one has the most obscure ingredients, but is well worth it. Recipe from Food and Wine)
Needed:
Snifter glass
1oz dry gin
¾ oz apple brandy
¾ oz dry vermouth
¾ oz unfiltered apple juice (or just get the all-natural stuff from an organic store…..it should be foggy to look at and have no extra sugar added)
¼ oz almond flavoured syrup (just walk to a local coffee shop and ask to get some shots in a to-go cup. It’ll be way cheaper.)
3 dashes of Angostura bitters (yes, they sell these at Binny’s)
And, again! Add everything into a cocktail shaker with ice and go to town. Pour into snifter, no ice. You can garnish with orange if you’d like.
Happy holidays, be safe, and buy your designated driver/mom a nice flower arrangement the next day.
You May Also Like:
The Lesbian’s Guide to Watching the Nutcracker
LGBTQ Religious Communities to Visit During the Holidays- Religious Practices to Help Holiday Pain
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About Leah Schein
Leah is a born and bred Chicagoan, and considers herself extremely fortunate to be raised by amazing liberal parents in Logan Square. Coming from a long family history of equality activism, the crazy world of politics feels like home to her. Her upbringing allowed her to fully appreciate her love of tacos, and provided the support needed to be independent and insane. She is a happy survivor of the public school system, all the way through her undergrad years, culminating with a BA in anthropology. Her love of travel and all things adventurous led to the pursuit of a Master of Science from sunny ol’ England, where she happily grasped a conservation degree and ran off to live in a number of rain forests to research nocturnal primates. Through the amazing diversity she was fortunate to be raised amongst, she has an unwavering appreciation of all cultures and peoples, and has used this to form the foundation of her outspoken support of civil rights. You may have seen her running around Boystown/Tuna town over the last decade, or at events she volunteers at for the Human Rights Campaign. It’s possible you spied her at the Silent Film Festival. That strange woman getting into a wrestling match in the leaves on Foster Ave beach at 3am…that definitely wasn’t her. She couldn’t be more excited about sharing her love of science, and it’s role in our daily lives, with the community she loves. Nerds are cool, people. They drink martini’s too.
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