Say Yes to the Lez

Say Yes to the Lez

I proposed to my then-girlfriend, Vivian, in December 2010 and soon afterwards, we decided we wanted to get married in the fall of 2012 (just incase those crazy Apocalypse theories turn out to be true). As a planner by trade, I naturally started looking for venues, photographers, caterers, florists, and other vendors right away. In my line of work, you can never start looking and researching too early.

Since setting our tentative date, I’ve been scouring wedding blogs, attending several wedding expos, and DVR-ing anything and everything to do with weddings. One evening, while watching TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress”, I found myself complaining to my fiancé that there are too few lesbians actually featured on these types of shows. Sadly, I felt the same was true of my online experiences. While I do frequent a handful of LGBTQ wedding blogs, none of them really provide the information I’m looking for to help me plan a Chicago lesbian wedding. And thus, “Say Yes to the Lez” was born. The purpose for this blog is to provide the Chicago LBTQ community with advice, vendor suggestions, and up-to-date wedding news, as it pertains to the Chicagoland area, all from the perspective of an experienced event planner. So stay tuned to learn more about Illinois Civil Unions, the most lesbian-friendly wedding venues, best lesbian-owned wedding resources, and much more.

  • Say Yes to the Lez

    • We are Traditional Marriage, too
      Tweet TweetThese past few weeks, my Facebook newsfeed has been full of Chick-fil-A news stories and every time I turn on the news I’m hearing more from backers of “traditional marriage.” But what exactly is that? What is a “traditional marriage” anyway? At face value we hear that “traditional marriage” proponents support a customary or biblical view of marriage that is “one man and one woman” — but is it really as simple as that? In his comments to the media, CFO [...]
    • An engagement story from a 2008 USA softball Olympic medalist
      Tweet TweetWith the Olympics just finishing up and reports of only 22 Olympians (in a field of approximately 11,000) officially being “out” – I called on 2008 USA softball Olympic medalist, Lauren Lappin and asked if she, as an “out” former Olympian and USSA Pride pro softball player, would help encourage our young athletes to be strong and sure that they too, can be out. Laura, who is recently engaged, told me her story of success and struggle to get to [...]
    • Kate and Katherine
      Tweet TweetSometimes, it’s the little things that matter most. It’s hard to always vocalize what love means, how you recognize it. The tilt of a smile, the brush of a fingertip, the raucous laughter at the kitchen sink. For every couple, love is as unique as their individual expression. We at the L Stop want to invite you to share in the joy that love has brought to couples all over the Chicagoland area. We are privileged and honored to be [...]
    • Kim’s Engagement Story
      Tweet Tweet On April 21st my best friend and partner, Andrea Moffat asked me to spend the rest of my life with her.  Perhaps I was a little naive to still be surprised when I had proposed the weekend before, but my heart jumped when I saw Andrea on the big screen at the Windy City Roller Derby Game.  I could not even tell you what she said, only seeing her smile through my glassy eyes.  Surrounded by our friends and family, [...]
    • Actions Speak Louder than Words
      Tweet TweetComing out to my family was a great hurdle to get past, though I am incredibly lucky to have welcoming family and friends. Still, when I came out I was selective with my words. I didn’t say, “hey everyone, surprise I’m a lesbian!” No I would never say that, not even now. I don’t like the way labels make me feel restricted. Instead I decided to just tell everyone that I “date girls.” It was easier for me to say [...]
    • Lesbian Engagements: It’s Time to Tell Everyone
      Tweet TweetOnce the smoke clears from your mind after the engagement happens and the high you felt from being so loved tames it hold on your chest…what’s the first thing you thing think about? Telling the world! You want to scream it from the rooftops and dance in the streets. That is until your realize you have no clue who to tell first and that there’s a right way and a wrong way to telling your loved ones. First, there are a [...]
    • Lesbian Engagements: Choosing the Ring
      Tweet TweetAlthough society, and quite possibly our parents, see most lesbian couples as being non-traditional, one traditional trend that continues to extend to lesbian engagements is the ring. Wedding rings began in Ancient Egyptian times. The circle was used to symbolize a never ending cycle and the space it makes – as a gate way. Betrothal rings were used during Roman times, but weren’t generally revived in the Western world until the 13th century. In other cultures men and women wear matching [...]
    • Lesbian Engagements: Vanessa’s Story
      Tweet TweetWe at The L Stop will hold Sunday’s to the topic of weddings and family planning. We are continuing this month’s celebration of engagements with a story submitted by Vanessa from California who wished to share her story. March will be wrapping up the topic of engagements next weekend. If you care to share your engagement story please submit it by Friday March 23rd. Please email it to And now, the engagement story of Vanessa and Alaine… When my wife [...]
    • Tears in My Beers or Help from Above
      Tweet TweetI promised the story about my second engagement and, in a reality that is the only one that really matters. It was the last night of Pride. I was a mess. I had been bartending at the Backlot Bash where I was overly intoxicated from drinking during the parade and I made a huge mess of things trying to be faster and better than the other servers and just ended up fucking up and got tricked into giving beers to [...]
    • The Promise of a Poser or What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
      Tweet TweetI don’t know if it’s trending in the LGBT community, or if I’ve just finally struck an age where it’s just time for my friends, but it seems everyone is getting married. *Gulp* Including me. This article is just the beginning of my progress (and my crazy wiley desires to crumble the plans, shut everything down, and cancel the wedding) and my tips and stuggles and successes along the way. I know there’s a million wedding mags, websites, tips, tricks, [...]
    • How much is your sanity worth
      Tweet TweetEngagements always start out exciting and new, but that feeling often wears off whenever the reality of all the responsibilities sets in. A wedding can be a logistic nightmare; between setting a budget, sticking to it, arranging for the venue, and catering, guests’ accommodation and gifts, etc. It’s not surprising that the ceremony is usually marked more with stress than merriment. Many couples, especially those on a tight budget, never think about hiring a wedding planner, assuming it’s a luxury service [...]
    • Say Yes to Designer Dresses for Less
      Tweet TweetOne of my guilty pleasures is If you haven’t ever heard of it and you tend to be an impulse shopper like me, you will now love me, or possibly hate me, for letting you know about this great website. Rue La La is an invitation-only website featuring a few select boutiques each day, where you can find some of the most sought-after brands in fashion, accessories, footwear, home, travel, wine, gourmet food, local services, and more at greatly [...]
    • Tips from a Pro SaveOnCrafts
      Tweet TweetWhether you are planning your wedding or even just a fun, festive party, make sure to have fun décor that really makes a big statement in the room. Centerpieces and specialty lighting help set the focal point and enhance the overall theme of the party. High quality décor, at any event, makes a huge impression on guests and doesn’t have to be expensive, if you know where to shop and what you’re looking for. As many of you know, The L [...]
    • Who gets down on one knee? Share your story!
      Tweet TweetLike most U-Haulers, shortly after my girlfriend and I moved in together, we started discussing our future and whether or not we wanted to get married, move to the suburbs, have children, etc. Having been raised in pretty conservative households, we both decided that we definitely wanted a traditional wedding for our family and friends. About six months after we moved in together, I was having dinner with a straight friend and the marriage topic came up. I mentioned to her, [...]
    • At Last: A Civil Union in Illinois
      Tweet TweetOn June 3 my wife, Vanessa, and I participated in the mass civil union ceremony that took place at the Chicago History Museum, which was put together by The Civil Rights Agenda. A little over fifty same-sex couples participated in the ceremony, which took place, outside, on the steps in the back of the museum. It was amazing to see so many same-sex couples together celebrating their love and unions with each other and with complete strangers. Some couples had [...]
    • Civil Union FAQs
      Tweet TweetToday, Wednesday, June 1, 2011 marks an important date in Illinois LBGTQ history with the enactment of the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act. If you and your partner are planning to enter, or are thinking about entering, into an Illinois Civil Union, Lambda Legal has put together some FAQs for what this new Civil Union law will mean, who can apply, how to apply, etc. Q: What is a Civil Union? A: Under Illinois’ new law, a Civil Union is [...]
    • Weekly Wedding Tips – If It Don’t Make Dollar, It Don’t Make Sense
      Tweet TweetOnce an overall amount has been determined, I recommend that each couple sit down to rank what aspects of a wedding are most important to them. Unless you have a “sky’s the limit” budget, you will have to closely monitor each purchase and might have to make some sacrifices in order to afford your “must-have” items/services. Here are some tips for stretching each dollar of your budget: 1. Consider the season. You’re more likely to get a better price for a venue [...]
    • Celebrate History in the Making – Illinois Civil Unions
      Tweet TweetTwo weeks from today, June 2, 2011, LGBT couples will be able to legally hold their Civil Union ceremonies. Now I know you might be thinking that I’m losing my mind since we all know the Civil Union Act goes into effect June 1st, not June 2nd. While this is technically true, any couples who have made their own wedding plans for June 1st ceremonies might end up disappointed and not legally recognized. When the law passes on June 1st, LGBT [...]
    • Weekly Wedding Tips – DIY to FYI
      Tweet TweetThere are plenty of ways to let the world know that you’re engaged and all the details of your wedding. The essentials of which are your wedding website, Save-the-Date cards, and the invitations themselves. Wedding Website There are plenty of templates, many of them FREE, for wedding websites that are easy to build. If you’re not tech savvy, all you need to do is enter your wedding details and the rest will be done for you. For the geeks out there, [...]
    • Weekly Wedding Tips – Start-off on the Right Foot
      Tweet TweetAfter getting engaged, one important conversation each couple needs to have, other than picking the approximate date, is budget. Discussing budget, while not always the most comfortable topic, is essential to planning a wedding. Here are some things to make sure to remember when beginning wedding planning and establishing the budget: 1. Determine early on what total amount you can afford to spend.  Consider future purchases like buying a house or having children; you don’t want to use all your resources and [...]
    • Calzona Wedding – Marriage, Mothers, and Mark
      Tweet Tweet I’ve been a fan of “Grey’s Anatomy” since the beginning and have enjoyed watching the Callie-Arizona (lovingly referred to by fans as Calzona) storyline develop over the last few seasons. So naturally I was very excited for this week’s episode where Callie and Arizona’s were going to get married. ***spoiler alert*** Overall the episode was in typical “Grey’s” fashion with its ups and downs, tears and cancellations, all before the final “I do’s” or in this case “I love you’s.” And [...]
    • Illinois Civil Unions, Separate but Equal?
      Tweet Tweet I’m sure we’re all familiar with the age-old lesbian joke, “Q: What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A: A U-Haul.” This joke is obviously an exaggeration, it exists for a reason. While many fight to avoid the cliché, lesbian relationships stereotypically tend to move faster than those of our gay male counterparts, or even heterosexual couples. I know that I was always the first to laugh when one of my friends would meet a girl one day, [...]




9 Responses to “Say Yes To The Lez”

  1. Hey – have you considered compiling a ‘resources’ section? I have a ton of friends who are lesbian videographers, photographers, or who otherwise have resources for lesbian weddings…

    Posted by Tina | June 1, 2011, 8:50 pm
  2. Tina, yes we have considered it. Would you mind sending us a list of your friends who have lesbian businesses? We can get something started. Thank you!

    You can send to:

    Posted by Vivian | June 2, 2011, 3:11 pm
  3. For Vivian and resources:

    Excellent photographer–she loves weddings, Civil Unions another commitment ceremonies. Her site is Outstanding work.

    Posted by Kate Schwartz | October 12, 2011, 11:02 am
  4. Hi Kate,

    Thanks for the heads up! We know Torie and she is very highly recommended. We will keep everyone posted as soon as we can get a Resources page going.


    Posted by Vivian | October 13, 2011, 2:51 pm
  5. Check out my site … I am a lesbian wedding officiant, married to a wonderful womon … I would be happy to be a resource… I will be posting info on licenses today or tomorrow …


    Posted by Deeya Roberts | March 10, 2012, 5:02 pm
  6. Thanks for posting Deeya!

    Posted by Vivian | March 13, 2012, 10:54 am
  7. Did all see what we were up to in Lake County last month? Archived in WCT… Civil Unions and Lake County. Kate wrote the article.

    Posted by Deeya Roberts | May 15, 2012, 1:07 pm
  8. Big congrats to Kate and Katherine.. I honestly don’t see why gay marriages aren’t legalized in all states..

    Posted by W. Asher | May 10, 2013, 3:41 am
  9. Congrats Kate and Katherine!!

    Posted by TubeKraken | December 16, 2015, 9:05 am

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