Letter from a Lesbian’s Dad

Not so long ago, my father, who is in his late 70’s, was hospitalized with an unexpected surgery. While visiting we spoke about so much, including how things were going with The L Stop. He mentioned that he would like to write an article – and my smile told him how wonderful I thought that would be.

My dad is the son of Irish immigrants. His father died when he was two years old, leaving his nineteen year old mother to raise him alone. My grandmother’s strong faith and commitment to the Catholic Church are most certainly what held her together and allowed her to build a life for my father during those very difficult years. The teachings of the church were such a strong influence on my dad that he actually “went up the river” to become a priest, but quickly discovered that his love for a girl (yes – that would be my mom) called him home.

My parent’s have been married for 54 years. My dad is a deacon in the Catholic Church. He has performed many marriage ceremonies (including mine) and even baptized my babies. He is a man of great faith. He has lived his life studying and living by the teachings of Christ and sharing his experiences with too many people to count.

I suppose I share this as an introduction because it reminds me ever so certainly that it is not a church, faith or an organization that dictates what we believe or choices that we make or even who we are – but rather our own internal voice. Our own unique voice that guides us to the very core of who we choose to be and how we choose to live this life we are given.


Sometime ago a friend asked me if I still loved my daughter since she was a lesbian. What a ridiculous and stupid question! I have loved her since birth and will continue to do so forever. She is one of four children; the other three are what society calls “straight” (whatever that means). I have known for a long time about her sexual preferences and it has never bothered me in any way whatsoever. One of my biggest failures was that I never talked to her about it, probably because it never was an issue with me. She was the best athlete in the family. Being an All-Star softball player I remember many of her girlfriends and the closeness they had with each other. Those were great days when we packed all of them into our van and took them to their games. Their love and respect for each other was amazing.

My daughter is a remarkable person. She is very involved in helping those less fortunate than herself. She and her motorcycle buddies are always going on fundraising drives for hospitals and other charitable organizations. She has walked 60 miles on several occasions helping to raise funds to help find a cancer cure, helped stock food pantries and so many other things. She seems to never tire from helping others no matter how inconvenient it is for her. Being a lesbian has never affected her efforts nor should it. She truly does love other people.

We are all God’s children. He made all of us in His image to love each other as He loves us. If we truly believe that He loves us then we have the responsibility to love each other in the same way..

So to the person who asked me that very stupid question I can only say that – Yes I do love my lesbian daughter with all my heart!!!!!!!!!. I sincerely hope that all parents can do the same.

Charles O’Donnell

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About K. Guzman

Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.


12 Responses to “Letter from a Lesbian’s Dad”

  1. Beautiful!

    Posted by Dawn | April 27, 2012, 9:32 am
  2. Beautiful.

    Posted by Kat | April 27, 2012, 9:49 am
  3. Beautiful, brought tears to my eyes.

    Posted by Rose | April 27, 2012, 9:54 am
  4. Kathy, you are blessed to have such a loving parent. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    Posted by JT | April 27, 2012, 10:13 am
  5. thanks everyone – my dad is a once in a lifetime kind of dude… 🙂

    Posted by K Guzman | April 27, 2012, 10:37 am
  6. What a moving blog post and letter from your Dad. I am at work with tears in my eyes. Bravo! : )

    Posted by Rebecca | April 27, 2012, 11:40 am
  7. Awesome 🙂 Go pops!

    Posted by Tina C. | April 27, 2012, 12:05 pm
  8. Kathy, you are so blessed. Please thank your dad for writing this heartfelt letter. And thank you for sharing it.

    Posted by Karen | April 27, 2012, 12:11 pm
  9. Been waiting for this one to go up. It’s clear why Kathy is such a wonderful person, she’s taught by the best.

    Posted by Vivian | April 27, 2012, 4:30 pm
  10. Reading this made my day!

    Posted by Cristin | April 27, 2012, 5:22 pm
  11. This made me cry, in a very good way. I love my pop-pop and my aunt <3

    Posted by Kaity | April 30, 2012, 9:28 pm
  12. I can’t stop crying !! What a loving letter 😉 I’m so proud to say Charle married me , baptized my child and is my sister -in-law papa !!! Love you Kathy xoxoxo Hanith

    Posted by Hanith DeJesus | January 15, 2013, 8:31 pm

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