Bush Confidence

“What do you guys think about butt waxing?” Dana asks shyly.
“Who has it on their butt?” asks Tina (Everyone glances at Alice).
“Well, at least I don’t anymore,” Alice punctuates.

“Back to my question please?” Dana redirects.

Alice informs, “OK, Trimming is essential. You know, just do it a few days before you get laid. Assuming you ever do.” (Dana glares at Alice)

“Whatever you do, you have to deal with it. Otherwise you’ll never have Bush Confidence. If you don’t have Bush Confidence, you’ll never feel good about your bush, and you’ll never get laid,” Tina advises.

“So get over it,” Alice reiterates.

Moving to Chicago from Ohio was a shock for several reasons. While the winters are freezing and the taxi drivers are insane the biggest thing that struck me was so many ladies on the 3rd coast are getting rid of their hair. Now I speak purely as a connoisseur and love of variety, but seriously where has all the hair gone? Trimming is necessary, you always want to frame the goods you’re presenting, but whatever happened to women looking like women. After all I don’t look like a little girl anymore.

Perplexed, I asked the native Chicagoan GF if she knew why all the Chicago lesbians were going Brazilian. “I don’t know. I just figured all lesbians did it,” she casually replied. “Plus I prefer it,” she punctuated.
(Record Scratches in my head)
Suddenly for the first time I became a little self-conscious about my dark red carpeting. So onto the waxing table I jumped, convincing myself that after all, I’ll try anything once. Plus, everyone says it’s better than shaving.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Reflecting, I have to say that there is something oddly masochistic about most beauty maintenance. No woman can tell me that they voluntarily go through this process because they like it. I can understand, if out of consideration for your partner’s preference, choosing to wax, but if you are single why on earth would anyone go for a wax? I think as a community of women we need to collectively “Just say no” to this waxing business.

I went to Sonia’s because it was conveniently located in Andersonville and Sonia’s gives full Brazilians for $30 (which is a good deal for Chi town). The service is great, but there is nothing quite as awkward as trying to hold a conversation with a woman who is waxing your cooch.
“What do you do for a living?” <Rip>
<Whimper>”Oh..I’m a Social Worker.”
“Do you have to have a degree for that?” <RIP!>
<Whimper> <Tears> <deep Breath>”At least a Bachelors, but a Masters if you want to be a counselor.”
“Are you going somewhere for vacation?”
“Nope just hanging around.”
“New Boyfriend?” <Riiiiiipppppp>
<YELP!> “Girlfriend.”
“That’s pretty common these days.” <Riiiippppp!>
<Oh God!><tears><Tilts head> “I guess you could say that. <awkward pause> I’m really lucky my family is really supportive and they love Andrea.”
<Riiiip> “You have a big family?”
<Tears> <Deep Breath> “Yes, I’m one of four girls.”
<Riiiiiiiiiiipppp> “That’s why you’re gay, you’re used to being around all those women,” Sonia concluded.

<Tears, with a chuckle> “I never thought of that, maybe.”(Considers the possibility of my sister’s contribution to my sexuality, but shakes at the thought, too Freudian for me).

Maybe it’s just me but I think that women look better with a nice confident trimmed bush. Whatever the type you have it’s beautiful in all the different textures and colors. Changing it up with different shapes can be fun (and a fun surprise for your partner) but don’t just assume that every lady prefers hard wood floors over soft cozy carpeting. Ultimately, you should always do what makes YOU feel confident as a woman, even if that means waxing. Otherwise, you’ll never have BUSH CONFIDENCE

TIPS and Tricks:

To soften try using a small amount of conditioner when you shower, just make sure to put on the outside to avoid irritation.

Trim periodically with scissors and a razor along the bikini line a few days before the Big Show.

Shave in the same direction as the hair growth and lotion afterwards to reduce razor burn.

Consider the possibilities:

Full Brazilian: Completely bare skinned, brrrrr!

Bikini: Cleaning up the edges just inside the swimsuit line

Landing Strip (Confusingly referred sometimes as simply Brazilian): Half inch patch of hair from top to

Heart: For those romantic types, another way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

The Triangle: Typically this refers to butt waxing and cleaning up around the edges. But, I have seen bottom salons take this quite literally waxing the lips and front to form an actual triangle.

About Kim

Kimberly Rogers, LCSW. like many Queer Ohioans fled to Chicago when Issue #1 (most discriminating marriage ban in the US) passed by 75%. Now she works in the fight against HIV/AIDS as a psychotherapist and smarter-sex advocate. A Master’s graduate from the University of Chicago, Kim mixes her interests of gender, sexuality, queer politics, and mental health liberation into a her own Sex-Positive Psychotherapy Practice. She feels so fortunate to be working with such amazing and passionate people.


4 Responses to “Bush Confidence”

  1. Another thing to consider is your hair type. If your hair is thick, as opposed to fine, and you trim it really short, it’s very stubbly and can cause a bad beaver-burn for your partner. It’s not pretty to have something that looks like a rash around your mouth, people gawk and think you’re diseased. (Plus I have sensitive skin so it was even more pronounced on my face.)That is one I learned from my smorgasbord samplings over the years. If your hair is thick, either leave it a little longer so it’s not pokey, or go for the full wax so it’s very smooth.
    I have bush confidence! Great article Kim. Wow, dark red huh? I was wondering if the carpeting matches the drapes… and now I know 🙂

    Posted by Karen | February 21, 2012, 11:39 am
  2. Ah ha ha ha ha!!! Karen!!! Great article Kim. Another place that is WAY off the beaten path but is the BeST EVEr is Dipti. She’s on Touhy in west Rodgers park. The place is kinda old looking and intimidating in that dive bar kinda way. But! She does it in like 4 seconds and is so quick and good at it she barely hurts. All waxes do hurt a little after and can swell a bit but she’s the best. And Karen…just in case you were wondering…my curtains match my carpet. Ha ha ha. Perve! Ha ha!

    Posted by Meg | February 21, 2012, 2:25 pm
  3. I’m with you. Yes I keep the area neatly trimmed (and pluck as many greys as possible (that’s something Momma never told me about) but the first time a woman told me to wax (which was oddly the first woman I had sex with) I said “no f’n way” and I have stood by that with every woman since. I LOVE my pubic hair. It’s what makes me a woman – not a little girl and I most certainly DO NOT want to feel like a little girl while I’m doing the do. Every woman I’ve been with has asked – until my current girlfriend (and a big reason she’s my girlfriend vs. someone I slept with.) She loves my bush as much as I do and as much as I love hers. Waxing is just another misogynistic male-determined beauty demand of women and I won’t stand for it (or lay down for it) and I think we need to stop falling for these patriarchal, masochistic versions of beauty and be what we are – gorgeous full of life and love women – pubic hair and all.

    Posted by eg | February 23, 2012, 10:38 pm
  4. Thank you to all of you for sharing. 🙂 This whole site is great! I really appreciate it! And I’m with EG, I enjoy my bush. 🙂

    Posted by mary | December 28, 2012, 9:34 pm

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