DOMA and Edie and Me

DOMAThe headlines and once upon a time bi lines are all telling the same story these days. DOMA on the agenda and Edie Windsor elegantly representing the righteousness of a cause while FaceBook turns red with the marketing genius of HRC billowing the sails. And it got me to wondering about something….

What is it really that keeps so many from recognizing the simple truth? This should not even be a fight or a consideration or a front news story. Our rights as United States citizens simply should not be determined by our religious or personal beliefs. Our rights are our rights – yes? Are we not guaranteed certain inalienable rights simply because we are citizens of this country? I know I might have played a little hooky when I should have been in that Civics class – but really – did I miss something along the way? What is the debate all about?

For 23 years I was a married woman. I was never questioned or interrogated about why I was married to the person I was married to. I am the same girl I have always been. I did not change my morals. I did not change my ethics or compromise my integrity along the way. I still sleep with one leg out of the covers and brush my teeth in the shower. I still complain about the winter and dream about the summer miles I will put on my Harley. I still love really cold beer and a smooth aged whiskey in a slow sipping glass. I still work every day and do my best to be a positive force in the lives of strangers and acquaintances alike. I have great faith that cannot be measured or contained by any institution. I love my children the same. I love my parents and family and cherish my friends as I always have. I have a puppy and two kittens and a house I call home. I have not changed one single teeny weenie bit – but my “rights” have changed – my horizons have been blurred and my freedoms chained. Simply because I no longer choose to be married to a man – everything has come into question and my rights as a citizen have been altered. How can that possibly be legal??

I will be the first to say – I probably will never get married again – but that is not the point – is it? This is not a discussion about marriage – this is not a discussion about whom I love – this is a discussion about every single citizen of the United States of America having equal rights – period. Let’s not dig any deeper. Let’s not even define those rights. Let’s not read the rule book at all – let’s just agree on the premise – that – every single citizen of the United States of America is entitled to the same rights. That we all follow the same rules of law and pay the same price when we break that law. That each and every one of us – whether tall, fat, funny or agnostic are not subject to one single difference in interpretation of that law. Can we agree on the concept of fairness? Because if we agree – then there is no debate – it is simple – peanut butter and jelly baby – easy.

The scary truth is – people don’t agree that every citizen is entitled to equal treatment in this country and “they” want to make equality a dirty word and stronghold the old biased playing field. Fear and ill educated minds transform simple truth and twist reason into some evil sub culture of chaotic hedonism. Ranting and raving about personal philosophies and religious interpretations – never once grasping the simple reality of equal rights for all citizens. No matter if they like green vegetables or type in all lower case letters. No matter if they drive a truck or row a boat. No matter if they find Monty Python boring or Luther Vandross sexy……no fucking matter. It does not matter who we are, what we do, or who we ultimately love. The only thing that matters is that at the end of the day – we all get the same treatment and interpretation of the law of this ever changing land. Right? Simple…..

My silly little mind gets muddled in the craziness of this world. I know I belong on an island with my surfer girls and ice cold beer smiling at the sun and writing words no one will ever read. I know. But in the meantime I watch the news, listen to the rhetoric and pray to my God to help reason and fairness turn the tide of inequality so that no matter whose hand I hold on this road through life – my rights are not altered – my path not dictated and my heart remains unpunished.

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About K. Guzman

Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.



  1. […] Edie Windsor. What else can I say? This woman is class – truth – possibility and patience incarnate. She moves through this life with what seems like an ease of conviction, telling tales of truth, […]

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