Needs and Wants

I was out doing one of my most favorite things the other day – (not) – when a little girl started screaming at her frazzled mother in the line at the grocery store. “MOM – I WANT IT NOW!!!! BUY THAT FOR ME….I WANT IT!!!!” I gave the little terrorist a side ways glare and told her without words that she was a rotten little punk and if she were my kid she would be digesting a mouthful of Palmolive and wishing through discipline tears that she never opened her sweet little mouth…I have that look down to a science – just so you know. And once again it got me to thinking…Where does the need for wanting come from? I had to ask myself…

In this country, from the time we are little kids, we are inundated with commercialism and advertisements that are directed directly at our subconscious minds. Might as well just stick us in a padded room with no light and flashes of subliminal messages for a few days and get it over with. The result is going to be the same – a society groomed to want – want – want. No explanation or rhyme or reason – we just want one and we want it yesterday. We don’t care how we are going to get it, if we can afford it or even if it is good for us – we just want it. Everyone else has one – I want one too. Weather it is Malibu Barbie and a baseball glove or the 46” plasma and baby blue Beemer convertible with the incredible white leather seats. We want it because we want it. We don’t need any of the things we simply have to have but have them we must. And then I got to thinking – because I have issues – maybe the wanting is not just the want for tangible things but also the want for emotional/non physical things. The need we may have for a best friend, new company, a text buddy, someone to brunch with and drink beer with on a Saturday afternoon. All the happy people in those commercials have happy friends. Everyone on TV has a significant other to banter with – and really – happily ever after never happens in those books unless the princess gets the princess….right?

My girl PINK (and yes – I said MY girl) – used the lyrics, “Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone” – powerful stuff really. Is the craving for companionship a tool ingrained inside of each of us to justify our own existence? When did we lose the ability to just be? To just be simply alone and know that there was nothing wrong with us because of it??

Regardless of where all the preconceptions come from, until we are ok – really ok – all the way ok with whom we are as solitary, independent people who really, truly accept that the things that surround us will never define us – we will never be able to contribute to that loving all involving partnership and love that we deeply crave, want and very possibly need.

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About K. Guzman

Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.


4 Responses to “Needs and Wants”

  1. I want to first say that I really love reading your stuff. You are a fantastic writer.

    That being said, I believe this phenomenon that you are talking about is a basic human need. In order to back up my belief in this I will quote “Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.” This is set up similar to the old school nutritional pyramid. Any who, Maslow does list “love/belonging” as one of the basic human needs. I do like how you distinguished this from what I believe to be an AMERICAN need for objects.

    Ok my long ass comment is over. I hope this helps spark a convo on your blog. Which is very good. : )

    Posted by Jen | August 10, 2011, 2:44 pm
  2. Thanks so much Jen – I appreciate your good words – hope we can open up the lines of communication and get some more input from our LStop friends!!!

    Posted by K Guzman | August 10, 2011, 3:06 pm
  3. Well, my wise wise mother has always said that the lower you set your expectations the happier in life you will be. I agree. I remember being happy, each an every day, with so much less. I was the kid walking the alley finding useful treasures in others junk. We ate Mac and cheese 4 nights a week and for a long period of time had to shower at friends homes and dump 5 gal buckets of water into the toilets to get them to flush while my parents worked on out dump of a home. But it was great…cause we were with family. As the family grows and the money came in we just expected more. The family vacations of past times where we loaded up the woody station wagon and drove 13 hrs to a dumpy lake in PA have been substituted with 10 stays in cape cod at a house on the ocean. I don’t think the magic and lure of that dumpy lake will be found at Martha’s vinyard, Provincetown, or Boston. I used to have to wait until each summer to travel now I just make a decision to up and go. Society has become a “give it to me now”, Veruca Salt reaction. So, I continue To try and have low expectations and it’s worked wonders, that is, when I can pull it off.

    Posted by Meg | August 11, 2011, 10:22 am
  4. Meg – thanks for taking the time to share your memories and thoughts – and Veruca is a classic!!

    Posted by K Guzman | August 11, 2011, 10:31 am

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