Older Woman Younger Woman What Up Wit Dat??

I have always been young for my age – young at heart that is.  I never feel a day over 23 – not until I catch a glimpse of myself in the storefront window  as I walk by.  Not until that photo on Facebook glares at me and reminds me that indeed I am not a 23 year old.  Where the hell did those laugh lines come from – is that really MY neck??? –  and tell me that my temples are not sporting the gray – please.  No matter what the outside screams, my insides are really only 23 years old – I swear.

It is through this blind confidence and questionable certainty that my spirit remains forever young.  The aura of youth and youthful ideas and hopes are most certainly what pushed that much younger woman into my life and held her there until differences and expectations tore us apart.  The dynamic that bonds a younger and older woman together is formed from shared energy and a desire to live life fully if not for the moment – for a lifetime.  Her younger, hopeful heart and my youthful spirit seemed to hold us face to face and swore to us every little thing gonna be alright.  I knew so much and believed so blindly while she questioned nothing and lived life for today – if only to forget what yesterday had given to her.  The attraction was both physical and more incredibly emotionally evident.  We trained for marathons together, caught concerts all summer long, went dancing after Cub’s games and stole the energy from every room we entered.  We had this crazy love of life that was contagious.  The age never came into question nor was it ever a factor in determining where we were in our relationship.  When a young heart meets and old soul there is a connection that cannot be defined.  There is no barrier because of age unless we build that barrier ourselves.   The conversations would go on for hours tying together the years that chronologically separated us.  The dynamic between an older woman and a younger woman is interesting and impossible to definitively define with words.  The knowledge passed and shared, life experiences lived and learned often brings communication to a whole new level of truth.  Teaching one another from the contrasting lives each has lived, in different times with different rules and expectations, is empowering and the balance it breathes in the relationship is unequivocal.  It teaches us to love what we love in life through the eyes of another – regardless of years lived – in spite of age and all its myths and regardless if it all ends happily ever after or not.

I was blessed and lucky to be the older woman in a relationship with a younger woman.  It reminded me that life was inevitably for the living and it reminded me to laugh and be reckless and have a damn good time.  It reminded me that I was cool and confident and that I had experiences that were relevant to another person in terms of growth, kindness, patience and understanding.  It reminded me to stay up late and to make out often and in the most inappropriate venues!!  And in the simplest way – in the purest form – that relationship with that younger woman reminded me to dance.  And this life is short ladies – we all need to remember to dance.

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About K. Guzman

Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.


8 Responses to “Older Woman Younger Woman What Up Wit Dat??”

  1. “When a young heart meets and old soul there is a connection that cannot be defined,” what a beautiful and poignant way to describe what has been my experience as well.
    “Cougar” just doesn’t sum up the depth of connection that can happen in an older/younger woman relationship!

    Posted by Valency | May 27, 2011, 2:19 pm
  2. Beautifully put. 🙂

    Posted by Meli K | May 27, 2011, 3:48 pm
  3. I will proudly be your dance partner K – always & forever. You are a constant reminder that love, strength, trust and friendship go hand in hand. We all deserve it and it will come if we are patient enough to wait for the right one. Incredibly written – you are a rockstar ; )

    Posted by Mandy | May 27, 2011, 4:03 pm
  4. was as if you pulled all the experiences and emotions from my mind and heart. You’ve very eloquently and passionately put into words exactly how and why I feel so connected to younger women. I’m constantly being asked the question “why don’t you date someone your own age?” (only by women my age of course) It’s not only annoying but at times it’s felt insulting. I’ve had long-term, meaningful relationships all my life with women younger than I. I cherish their energy and zest for life. Their motivation, hopefulness and especially their sense of humor add to mine. It’s been painful to have my happiness questioned as if it wasn’t valid or real. As you pointed out in your column the connection is very real! The next time yet another person asks me that question I’m going to refer them to this very touching narrative. Thank you from one 23 year old to another!

    Posted by Alma | May 28, 2011, 7:27 pm
  5. I was so lucky to be in a relationship with a woman ten years older than me. It’s ended now but I will always remember. Thank you for reminding me of all the good. 🙂

    Posted by SassySeattle10 | May 31, 2011, 11:41 pm
  6. Beautifully written. I especially connected with the
    concept of staying active in the world for as long as
    we occupy some of its space. The “comfort zone” is a particularly dangerous area in which to reside. There are always new adventures to experience and from which to learn. For the older woman, having someone younger sharing the explorations can give impetus when your own energy might lag. It is like having your own personal trainer goading you into action. For the younger woman, having a loving kindred spirit in the form of someone with life lessons already learned, can focus your mutual energy into new choices that could provide the most fulfillment.

    Posted by Serena | June 1, 2011, 10:20 pm
  7. This was interesting. I’ve only been with one girl who was younger than me, and it was only by 3 months. It’s nice to read for insight into the other perspective.
    Nice work!

    Posted by Casey | June 7, 2011, 8:47 pm
  8. I really enjoyed reading your article. I, myself am in the early stages of being in a relationship with a much younger woman. Your article hit home for me…thank you.

    Posted by Kim | April 18, 2014, 9:59 am

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