No day but today….

There are moments in this life that are too impossible to accept. Pain that is too deep to express. Loss that is too great to bear and sorrow that encompasses our hearts like a cold hard truth that burns through all reason. Untimely circumstances that crash through our sunny days and bring us to a place we never thought we’d be – we never imagined we would know.

I was standing at a volunteer booth this summer when I saw this couple through the crowd – and I could not take my eyes from them. She was dark and slight and she was fair and athletic. They were standing face to face and talking into each other while their hands cupped the others face. They were moving together as they spoke and kept there own rhythm to a song that no one else could hear. There were hundreds of women drinking and dancing and running around like kids in a candy store and in the middle of all the madness there were these two people lost inside of the moment they were sharing. I was struck by the tenderness and the love they must have had for one another. I smiled to myself and thought – I want that – I want what they have.

I never knew her. Not really. But her face and her smile and her laughter are familiar to me. A quick introduction at a fundraising event and nothing more. But she left an impact, an impression. There were the deep liquid brown eyes that had a glimmer of hope swimming around inside of them. There was a smile that was quick and bright and knowing. When she smiled you felt you had to return the favor – and smile right back – that was such an amazing gift to have. There was an awareness of the room and everyone in it – as if she were watching for the next thing to happen – the next opportunity to change a misperception or bring awareness to what was near to her heart and to her very young life.

Oscar Wilde said that memories are the diaries that we all carry within us. We have our unique life experiences and interpretations of all the days that have come before. They are private and shared at our own discretion to those we chose to allow into our hearts and our lives. We carry them with us always and keep them locked safely in our hearts and minds.

I wanted to share my memory of a girl I did not know – but who gave me hope and a smile without ever even knowing. Her name was Christina Santiago.

About K. Guzman

Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.


18 Responses to “No day but today….”

  1. This was beautifully written. I had similar interactions and conversations with her and you captured my feelings exactly. I think she touched many people like us with these simple, short moments.

    Posted by D. Boulukos | August 16, 2011, 1:23 pm
  2. very nice article, thank you for sharing

    Posted by Jordan Brooks | August 16, 2011, 1:25 pm
  3. Beautiful.

    Posted by Alicia Figueroa | August 16, 2011, 1:38 pm
  4. So Beautiful! :'(

    Posted by Tiffany Geiger | August 16, 2011, 1:50 pm
  5. You captured and wrote of their love beautifully… Thank you! I knew both of them… Everytime I would see them at an event or around the fields, their love exuded… We all want what they have! They will forever be me #1 celebrity lesbos (what I always called them). My her memory be eternal

    Posted by Christine | August 16, 2011, 2:13 pm
  6. Thank you for writing this.

    Posted by Jacky Guerrero | August 16, 2011, 2:13 pm
  7. It comes from my heart ladies – it is all true and Christina is in my prayers.

    Posted by K Guzman | August 16, 2011, 2:59 pm
  8. Kathy, your story made me cry. Christina and Alisha’s story makes me cry. Sadly, with all the news and stories of couples being tragically separated…this story hits so much harder. More like looking in the mirror and breaking me down to think about every little thing I have gotten mad at my partner for – what’s important is the years of love – not the stupid arguments. Their story has changed me. Thank you for this story. I feel my love stronger and want to cherish it more to honor them.

    Posted by joy | August 16, 2011, 4:47 pm
  9. So often we think about planning for next week, next year, the next party. Many are so busy looking forward, and others are very busy living in the past mulling about what might have been. We overlook the present all too often. A sudden tragedy like this makes us all stop and take stock of our lives, our emotional bank accounts, how we treat others, questioning ourselves if we take them for granted, if we hold grudges over tiny things that in a day won’t even matter. We could instead put our energies toward showing love for those we call family, friend, or partner TODAY. Yes, it is good to remember good times and also to plan good times for the future; but let’s always put today first. Because it can all change in a year, a month, a day, an instant. I am glad to know that Christina knew how very loved she IS.

    Posted by Karen | August 16, 2011, 6:54 pm
  10. Realmente estoy consternada por esta tragedia, conoci a Christina una persona tan linda, amable, educada, trabajadora…Dios la tenga en su gloria, recemos por ella. Nunca te olvidare amiga!!! Maura…

    Posted by Maura | August 16, 2011, 10:54 pm
  11. Joy – I am moved by your words and grateful that the things I write about touch the lives of others.

    Posted by K Guzman | August 17, 2011, 9:45 am
  12. Karen – well said – only this moment is promised – we need to use it well.

    Posted by K Guzman | August 17, 2011, 9:47 am
  13. Maura – Gracias por sus palabras buenas.

    Posted by K Guzman | August 17, 2011, 9:50 am
  14. Por favor si es posible avisarme cuando le puedan hacer una misa me gustaria estar! gracias…


    Posted by Maura | August 17, 2011, 9:23 pm
  15. Hola Maura – le avisamos de el memorial de Christina. Seria hasta la proxima semana.

    Posted by Vivian | August 18, 2011, 11:15 am
  16. Gracias, espero me avisen por favor cualquier cosa esta es mi e-mail address

    Posted by Maura | August 19, 2011, 2:21 pm
  17. I met the lovely Ms Santiago at the Garden of Eve in 2010. I was newly single and shy. We started a conversation as she saw me with my friends who were coupled and asked where my girlfriend was a jokingly said. You are too pretty to be the third wheel. She was so hysterically funny and began to give me dating advice and how to get back out there.

    I left feeling good about myself, knowing someone took the time to talk to me and show me how I great I can be.

    She was an angel indeed. I’ll never forget the kind words she said to me.

    Posted by Melissa T. | August 13, 2013, 10:15 am
  18. I was fortunate enough to call her a friend. She was such an amazing person. She was one of those people that did EVERYTHING for EVERYONE else and asked for nothing in return. She was gracious, loving, accepting and ALWAYS willing to help. This earth lost an incredibly special human the night she passed. I kept thinking – why?! Why would God take her when she was so needed on this earth? As soon as I stopped feeling sorry for myself, thinking I lost a good friend, I realized now she can help so many more people at once as an angel.
    Miss you Christina!

    Posted by Tammy Sciortino | August 13, 2013, 1:04 pm

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