“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, and expands our souls…” Orson F Whitney
I think that even in what we might perceive as the most peaceful times in our lives we can be blindsided by the unexpected. As we skip merrily down the path of happily ever after sunshine cotton candy lollipops and unicorns – we can be certain that something will come along and kick us from our sunny existence – and it is in these moments that we grow and that we truly get to know who we are.
Difficult as it may be – we will be disappointed – our hearts will be broken – our dignity will be lost and our intentions will be misunderstood. Perceptions and innuendo will guide weak character and may somehow knock us from our solid foundation into the churning waters of uncertainty. We must expect to be hurt, to be lied to, to be left behind and scattered into fragments of who we thought we were. And we must be able to find a way to find the peace and certainty in the chaos which surrounds us. Within the baffling betrayals and silent misconceptions – we must do our best to find ourselves – so that which would destroy us only makes us stronger, better, wiser and more prepared for the next time.
Someone told me recently that there is a purpose to everything. A real, deep down purpose -and it is up to each of us to recognize and embrace the things that drop us to our knees. To understand that life may never be the dream we dare to dream – that life will be hard and challenging, confusing and ridiculous at times -and we have to be okay with that. We have to find balance within the difficulties we face and understand that we may never understand – and that is just fine. To comprehend and accept that it is okay to never understand certain things that come our way – certain actions that others may take that hurt and confuse us – decisions that loved ones make that exclude and betray us – it is really okay that we may never find clarity in the muddied waters of the actions of others. In that simple acceptance – we will find a peace that many will never know, let alone, understand.
To stand alone in the sunny meadow – facing the sun and living a peaceful existence while there are stones being thrown at you from the shadows – is a test of courage and fortitude that we must all be prepared to experience. The actions that others take are out of our control. We cannot expect to understand intentions when those intentions are at odds with our own. Sometimes, in our own stillness, we can find the strength to push through – without scars and nightmarish recollections – but rather with dignity, pride and the certainty that sticks and stones are just that – sticks and stones – and they will not dent the armor that is our true character.
Live well – teach peace and keep kindness in your intentions – the rest will all make good sense – maybe – someday.
About K. Guzman
Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.