Every step we take brings us closer to the end of all things that we know. Every glimpse we grab generates new foundations and possible expectations for what is yet to be. We live for today and hope for tomorrow and all the way pray we enjoy this exceptional ride called life.
The journey is wild really. We are born into this place pure and perfect and untouched by the laws and opinions of the world. Joyous bundles of innocence stretching and yawning, burping and crying, sleeping and waking all the while being programmed on how to live – who to be. Little arms and innocent hearts reaching for the unknown and accepting whatever we are taught to accept. We are told when to sleep, what to eat, how to communicate, when to communicate and who it is safe to communicate with. We are shown how to walk and pushed into running. Strangers guide us to pray and tell us ever so certainly who we should be praying to. Society molds us, forms us, takes, shakes and breaks us into fragmented pieces of who we were born to be.
Along the way we find a way to hear that voice deep down inside – reminding us of our perfection. We were all born perfect. We learn the rest. And that voice we hear and ignore all too often – that gut instinct that gnaws at us in the middle of conflict or uncertainty – that is our inner voice – our truth – our soul – our gift of perfection trying so hard to be heard. That nagging – haunting declaration that, when we let it, brings us closer to our authentic selves. That soft whisper that stubbornly tries to drag us from the materialistic, hypersensitive, judgmental societal uncertainties that systematically attempt to destroy our simple spirit.
So we don’t listen to ourselves. We play the parts – we get sidetracked – we get sidetracked for years. We live an unbalanced and unfulfilling life because we accept what we innately know to be unnatural or unsupportive of whom we were actually born to be. We let the world tell us who to love how to love and how to define happiness. We tap dance through the tango and we swim through muddied fields only to find the struggle defeating us with the indefatigable passage of time. We look in the mirror and do not recognize the life inside our own eyes – and it is then – if we dare – that we try. Try to fix it – try to understand it – try to find it – try to make it – try to get back to the truth we were born to live.
Sometimes that truth comes in the form of a specific experience – that ah-hah freaking moment that nudges us towards a new road that takes us back to ourselves. Sometimes it comes in the form of a transformation or death or unexpected tragedy that reminds us of how frail life is and somehow jars us into wanting to live a more authentic existence. And sometimes – believe it or not – it comes in the form of a kiss. One blindingly passionate rock your fucking socks off and blow the roof off the sucker unexpected mind altering life changing kiss. Sometimes that is all it takes to remind us of who we are – who we really are. A light goes on and without thought or consequence we start to love ourselves again – to know ourselves again – to recognize our truth and embrace it unconditionally.
That kind of liberation is not for sale – cannot be bought, taught or stolen – it lies inside each and every one of us and it is ours and ours alone. It is the moment in time when we really know ourselves – when we disregard what someone long ago taught us not to accept about ourselves. The moment when we choose love over hate and equality over injustice. The moment when we allow ourselves to be ourselves – from the inside outside upside down kind of place that had been hidden and locked away from the world since the time we were taught shame or guilt. The moment when right is so right and wrong is a waste of time. That silly, ironic, indescribable moment when we remember how much we love to dance and without rhyme or reason, music or season – we just dance.
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About K. Guzman
Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.