Remember that song “Sugartown” by Nancy Sinatra? Just watch the first minute to hear the Sh-sh-sh, sh-sh, etc., and you will understand my Cuckoo-coo, Cuckoo-coo, Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo Crazytown!!
I felt music was needed. And frankly cuckoo is part of Crazytown. Moving on…
I was talking with an old acquaintance recently and we were discussing dating. Neither of us is a fan of going to what we call Crazytown, where the woman you’re dating turns out to be rather nuts. Crazytown can be avoided but one must pay close attention to one’s own feeling and instinct. Think of your encounters with Crazytown; everyone has had them. In hindsight, you might say “if only I had paid attention….”
What are signs of Crazytown? Well, here are some hints (in no particular order) that Crazytown might be lurking about like a star that’s about to explode into a supernova.
- Cluttered house. She could be a hoarder. Clutter demonstrates stagnant energy. Nothing new can enter. That means you.
- Dirty house? Could be a sign of mental illness. A long time ago, I went home for a one-nighter with someone. Her house was not necessarily cluttered but it was dirty. I thought, “who would bring someone home to this?” Heaven knows when the sheets were changed last. No one’s perfect here and as I type, I’ve got dog fur all over my wood floors. I hate vacuuming. But I wouldn’t bring someone home to my place in its present condition, not if I wanted to put my best foot forward…
- Is she rude to strangers or servers? If she is, guess what you’re gonna get. Lots of ‘tude. And she will forever be asserting her dominance. If you’re into that…
Does she have questionable hygiene, like dirty fingernails (and she’s not a gardener, artist, or mechanic)? You know how there are just some things you won’t touch because “hey girls, I eat with these hands!!” Just sayin. What would you want touching you???
- Does she have an intense but off-putting look in her eye that makes you nervous or uncomfortable? Could be crazytown lurking in the back.
- Does she make physical contact even though you know you are not giving those signals? This shows she is not even paying attention to you or what you want. She’s grabbing because all she can hear is “WHO WANTS CAKE??” What other voices might be in her head?
- Does she interrupt you and laugh at your opinions? She may be unable to form any of her own.
- Is she condescending or patronizing? Arrogant? This is a sure manifestation of insecurity.
- Does she demand constant attention and/or adoration? Narcissism isn’t pretty.(As I’m writing this, I see I could be describing a cat.)
- Does she expect you to hide your online dating profile after ONE date? If yes, RUN. I don’t care how hot you think she is. She will make your life hell and expect you to be accountable to all of her crazy notions.
- She says something like “I work hard all week and I don’t want to have to work or think on the weekends.” Because guess when you are likely spending time with her? When she’s not working at her paying job. This means she’s not willing to make an effort to have a good dating experience and certainly no relationship can be had because she is telling you she’s just not available, not willing to do the work. Don’t even broach intimacy. And she probably views sex as work. Step away from this one unless it somehow appeals to you.
- Is she forever misplacing things? We all have off days where distraction makes us irresponsible with keys etc. But if you notice this sort of behavior happening all the time, then her presence of mind may be absent, even when she’s with you.
- This is not a direct sign of Crazytown, it’s just rude: texting or talking on the phone while she’s on a date or at a function with you. And outright flirting with other women in your presence also smacks of utter rudeness. She’s inconsiderate or perhaps selfish.
- Does she still show extreme anger over her last relationship and toward her ex? Again, RUN. She’s not done processing her last relationship.
- Is she always telling you what your problems are and how to fix you r life? Get in the car and floor it. GO. If you feel you’re broken and need fixing, find a reputable therapist.
Bottom line: Be aware of your surroundings; be aware of how you feel. Don’t ignore signs that you know are there because in the end it’s only going to hurt YOU. Think about what you want in a partner as well as what you won’t put up with, and pay attention. Happy dating!
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Karen is a recent escapee of corporate america and was raised in the Chicago area. She is quick-witted, non-political and non-comforming, but an astute observer of everyday life. Loves women.