I was born with one. I grew up with one. I made it through puberty, teenage years, young adulthood and most of my adult years with one. And then suddenly one day, when I was unable to stand from the pain that resonated through my lower abdomen, I was in the hospital and by the end of the week someone had taken my uterus………so much fun being a girl.
Let me get this out there – I am not a doctor – even though I play one on TV and on really special dates. (haha….oh man). I am just a regular girl – with a regular life – who happens to know some things for certain. And even though each and every one of us magical mystical ladies have very unique and wonderful magical mystical body parts – those parts – and in particular the uterus and ovaries – play a huge role in how we are balanced in this world – like it or not – take it or leave it – whatever – it is the truth.
From child bearing years and the hormonal ebb and flow a woman is destined to go through, to the wonderful world of menopause and hysterectomies – our “woman parts” are powerful entities that are connected to the very core of who we are as women. We may not realize it, feel it or even think it – but I am here to tell you – when they are gone – taken and removed for your own health and safety – there is a part of you that goes along with them – in a very quiet and private way. The person that you once were – in terms of balance, sleep, emotions, metabolism and physical appearance will be thrown into a cyclone of “what the fuck” for at least a year after your stuff is not your stuff anymore.
No one tells you that you will probably have migraines, weight gain, hot flashes, night sweats, emotional roller coaster freak outs and a feeling of utter aloneness. No one tells you that even though you have absolutely, positively beyond any shadow of any doubt no intention of ever birthing another baby (cause the two you have are grown and good) – that you would actually feel a tug of wanting and yearning and that you would be missing what will never be an option for you ever, ever again. The power of choice and in a sense your own free will concerning procreation, which is a gender specific gift every woman possesses – has been erased from your agenda forever. No one prepares you and tells you that once that radical hysterectomy is done – you might very well get hit by the menopause truck – and man – what a hit that can be. Full force knocks you off your feet and into another world kind of smack down – it would have been nice to have been forewarned – wouldn’t you agree??
Yes – there are therapies and pills that will assist you in finding your solid ground again. And yes – you are still able to do all the cool sex stuff you could always do when you had a uterus – and no – no one will ever know by looking at you whether or not you still have your secret girl parts. But someone should let you know – it is a strange and undefinable feeling being a woman without a uterus – I can’t explain more than that. We all have our own journeys – but no one told me what to expect. No one warned me of the complicated emotions and uncertainties that would echo through my life once those very fundamental female identifying parts were no longer inside of me. Funny the things that we take for granted – the things that we don’t consider or even know. Even more ironic is the stuff that no one bothers to tell girls and women about all our bodies go through when what we are going through involves our uterus.
Somebody should have said something. I am just one of those people who like to know the chance of rain before I plan the picnic – that’s all. This is just fair warning for anyone who cares. And by the way – no matter what – it is still so much fun being a girl. No matter what.
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About K. Guzman
Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.