I think most of us have some memory of what it felt like to learn that there was no Santa Claus – there was no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. What we believed so surely in suddenly was yanked from our world forever. A part of the magic was gone from our childhood. I imagined this might be the same feeling my children would have when the news of my divorce from their father was inevitable. This was some news that was going to be hard to tell.
The actual divorce part was easy really. Time goes and the marriage had eroded over the years and it was a smooth and easy split. No drama – no regret– just you go your way and I’ll go mine kind of understanding. The boy child and girl child were older and wiser and already knew the ending was the best thing for everyone – but it was still the end of the family as we had known it and the beginning of a life uncertain. I wasn’t sure how to explain my need to have a woman in my life and not a man. Maybe the Harley, biker boots and girls only weekends broke the news for me?? Could have been the softball leagues and my love of baggy bowling shirts and surfer girl fedoras or my mastery of the charcoal grill…. I am not certain. But it amazed me when bringing the first girlfriend around the house was as easy as blinking my eyes. The kids and their friends never flinched. I had to wonder where was all the hyper-crazy-oh-my-God-drama that was supposed to come with this sort of transition. Where were all the crying and screaming and rebellion that I had been stressing over?? Why was this so easy for them?
I took a step back and realized that this new generation, for the most part, has a completely different take on what a boy and girl can do with their hearts, lives and dreams. This was a generation of tolerance and acceptance. A generation witnessing girlfriends kissing girlfriends between classes in high school and boys holding hands with boys in the hallways. A generation where girls played real football and boys had cooking shows on TV. A generation living through a true melting pot of cultures, beliefs, languages and lifestyles. Their eyes are wide open and as long as no one is getting hurt – they seem to go with the flow. This is a completely changed world from the one I grew up in where no one thought Liberace or Elton John were gay they were just flamboyant. These kids aren’t running from the obvious or turning their heads away from what is different. They are embracing chance, diversity and happiness regardless of the way the package is delivered. It is like the evolution of the heart and all the love and kindness it is capable of knowing is happening right in front of us. We have to give credit to these kids and their friends – the ones who get it and know that life is too short for accepting the unacceptable. The ones who march with their gay dads or lesbian moms in parades and stand proudly beside us in a world where every kindness matters and every judgment decays the foundation of that perfect world we all dream about.
Can’t wait to get to that perfect world – cause I know Santa will be there chilling with the Tooth Fairy and sharing a frosty one with that crazy Easter Bunny and they will have a comfy chair just for me.
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About K. Guzman
Kathy grew up all over the US - lots of east coast time. She is a surfer girl with an unabridged curiosity. A woman whose mid life awakening continues to bring her to the place she was meant to be. Her degree in Journalism/Creative Writing from the University of Central Florida is being yanked from the archives and put to good use. Her two kids are grown and rock stars in this wild world – her Harley is ready for some serious summer miles – and her heart remains open to life, women and the possibilities each day brings.