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The Ex Factor: Lesbians and their Exes

I was reading the blog  “Stuff Lesbians Like” and one of the posts was “Being friends with their exes.”  I didn’t want to agree with this, especially since the post painted this lesbian trend  in a comically negative light, but then I realized the validity. I have been on speaking terms with all of my exes.

Episode One:  Instant  Friendship Post Breakup

One of my first girlfriends, whom I will call Clara, broke up with me one morning in between classes and she felt ready to be friends with me the instant after she broke up with me.  Literally seconds after she broke up with me, the next words out of her mouth were “So what’s up with you?”

We talked for another hour after that.  And it was not a maudlin discussion about her losing attraction to me or commitment issues or heartbreak, a moment I still felt I needed.  Instead we talked about the same things we often talked about.  Silly things, like the most recent episode of The Office and a book her roommate recommended to her.  We talked about deeper things, like notions of heaven and hell, and her arguing that I should have kids someday.  Naturally I have never before fought so strongly the urge to break down and cry, but I stayed and talked with her because I knew that this friendship we had could never go back to meaning more to her.

Normally on our Tuesday morning dates, I never really worried about getting to class until I had only five minutes to spare.  That particular Morning, I left thirty minutes earlier than usual.  She asked for a hug, and of course I gave her one, because I could never say no to her.  But this hug felt different.  I could not relax into it and I turned my face away from her, instead of resting it on her shoulder as I had done before.

After a couple of weeks, we went out to dinner together, just the two of us.  It was surprisingly comfortable, like talking with an old friend.  I was not the least bit sad all evening, until I dropped her off at her apartment, and for the first time in a while, we said good night with a long friendly hug.  I walked home, convinced that maybe we were re-connecting.

The following night, she invited me to go out dancing with her and her friends (who might have been more upset about the break up than she was).  I thought This is my chance to get glammed up and put effort into my appearance, the way I should have while we were together.  Naturally, despite my efforts to look good when I met her at her house that night, she of course looked perfect.  While dancing with her, we did not touch at all, and it bothered me that I noticed that.

We hung out consistently for an entire year after the break, hanging out on average 1.5 times a week.  Sometimes we would hang out with her roommates.  Other times it was just the two of us.  Sometimes she would invite me to a party where she would be able to socialize with other people.  Other times she would invite me out for dinner at the café I took her to the night she first kissed me, or she would ask me to wander around Chicago at night to take pictures.  Sometimes she would ask me to join her shopping at random, not for clothes or recreation, but for bedding or groceries, which I read as activities for close friends or girlfriends.

One time she even invited me to the gym with her.  Naturally, I did not want to embarrass myself in front of my dream girl, but I could never really say no to her.  It was a torturous sixty minutes on the stair climber, not because of sweating and Charlie-horses, but because I spent the whole hour trying not to stare at her perfect little butt in her perfect little spandex, as she took each step.  It was that day at the gym that I realized that I had my limits met.

What I realized  eventually is that every time our friend dates ended and I walked away from her, I still had to fight the urge not to cry, even after a year.

Why did I subject myself to this?  Why did I let my self love her even more after she broke up with me?  It took me a year, but I finally admitted to myself.  The part of me that held on to her friendship was the same part of me that still believed she might love me again.

When I came to this realization, I told her I still had the same feelings for her, and thus we could not be friends anymore, or I at least until I had a chance to fall out of love with her (thankfully I said it differently, lest I further humiliate myself).  Of course she had to be wonderful and kind when rejecting me for the second time, but most importantly she said what finally needed to be said.  “Let me know when you’re ready to be friends again.  But Casey, be honest.”

Honestly, Clara is still one of the most beautiful most incredible people I have ever met in my life.   And I cannot wait to spend time with her again.  I just know that I needed to take some time to let myself fall out of love with her completely.

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About Casey

Casey is a creative writing student at DePaul university. She enjoys reading, writing, and taking long walks around the city of Chicago.

Discussion

28 Responses to “The Ex Factor: Lesbians and their Exes”

  1. I did the same thing to my present-girlfriend when we broke up 4 years ago. Somehow it ended up working for me that we got back together. But I completely agree that unless both parties are ready to be JUST friends, they shouldn’t be friends immediately after a breakup.

    Posted by JT | June 30, 2011, 11:59 am
  2. you took the words right out of my head. It’s the falling out of love completely that is the tricky part…..

    Posted by K Guzman | June 30, 2011, 1:29 pm
  3. I personally think it depends on how the break up went down because honestly if it was a bad one why would you wan to stay friends?

    Also I think its important to take some apart time and maybe but it depends on each persons situation

    Posted by L.M | June 30, 2011, 1:42 pm
  4. My ex was great friends with her exes. One of her best friends was an ex-girlfriend. The ex was still in love with her (probably still is) and would stay at her house when I wasn’t there, sleep in the same bed and everything. It was kind of uncomfortable for me, but I trusted her.

    I’m not really close to any of my exes and the ones I am friends with are the guys (when I was pretending to be something I wasn’t).

    Posted by Sara | June 30, 2011, 3:32 pm
  5. This really puts into words exactly where I am with my ex right now. I recently accepted that not talking or interacting is actually helping me get over her. I’m slowly falling out of love and, as much as it pains me to accept, I know that it is for the best.

    Posted by Jen | June 30, 2011, 9:06 pm
  6. The thing is, we had excellent friend chemistry, and she did not give me a solid reason why she was not attracted to me anymore. It was just that she was starting to see me as just a friend. Since she didn’t insult me or anything, I really could not think of a reason why I shouldn’t hang out with her.

    Posted by Casey | July 5, 2011, 10:20 am
  7. After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me,
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    Posted by ashna prasad | September 8, 2014, 3:44 am
  8. Without DR DAHIRU a lot of people would have been dead through heart break. My case is not different from heart break, I am married woman with 3 kids and there was a time when i was having problem with my husband because he was having an affair outside our marriage and this was making me feel bad. So i tried finding solution to my problem by reading a lot of relationship tips on the internet and that was how i came in contact with DR DAHIRU contact details and through the help of DR DAHIRU my husband left the girl he was having affair with and he came back to me and our kids. After a job well done by DR DAHIRU i felt that it will be unfair if i keep this secret to myself and that is why i am going to drop the contact details of DR DAHIRU right now, They are: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com

    Posted by frama | October 4, 2014, 11:21 pm
  9. My Name is Jones Benady from Australia..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster DR ODIMILI when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos h ave tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that willsurely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..DR ODIMILI The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out…….. CONTACT THIS POWERFUL SPELL CASTER TODAY VIA EMAIL:hamonyspellcaster1957@gmail.com

    Posted by Jones Benady | January 6, 2015, 2:04 pm
  10. I met my husband in my first year of senior high. Its not like i met met him during my first year of being senior , it was more like we started dating during that period in time. It was the first time in my life i felt like my heart was going to explode when anyone touched me or kissed me. I knew i was in love with him and there was no way of saying that i wasn’t and i also believed that he loved me just as much as i loved him. In more sense i could mistake what we felt as something magical. We planned our lives together thinking and knowing we are going to be together forever and nothing was ever going to tear us apart. But life being as it is, we woke up and reality set in. Although this month made it the 9th year since we have being together, last year was brought us series of problems. Professionally, i am a medical doctor and he is an art painter so there is no way on earth i will always be around because its the nature of my profession. I always made sure i spend most of my free time with him and not friends. As much as i love him, i also love saving lives so it was so selfish to ask me to choose. I will never ask him to choose between me and his art work because i knew how much he loved painting and how much he loved me also. O well that is all history just wanted you all know what caused our problem. I can go on and on telling how selfish he was towards me and my profession but it will be pointless. In the end i found out he was seeing someone else even if we were still married. I only knew about three months after they started their affair. And his reason for cheating was that he needs closure that i made sure i gave each time i was home with him. All that needing of closure speech could also be rephrased as he was tired of us and needed someone new after eight years of been together. I wish i told him he was never going to see me again but it was the opposite he ended us there and then. Call me crazy or whatever, i knew in my heart that if i had let him go like that i would never had found love again. A spell caster called Metodo Acamu help me cast a spell to bring us back together. I know it sounds hypocritical to even mention i used a spell to get back together with my husband because for goodness sake i am a medical doctor and i should know better than that but it true along with every other testimony about Metodo Acamu spell you have all seen on the Internet. Like most of the testimonies you may have read, i never intended on contact a spell caster but desperation drove me to am only glad i contacted the right one. He only asked me to provide four materials that i can not disclose which i was to mail to him through DHL or UPS but i decided to just send the total cost to him Because firstly my job does not permit me the time secondly some of the materials where not even found here in Chicago or the united state as a whole while other did not just go down with me to actually send via mail. But i promise you his spell worked. We are more in love than ever before just like when we first started dating and our relationship is more healthier that it ever was. Its been six months since Metodo Acamu help me get back together with my husband and like i said his month made it our 9th year of being together. I will his email contact here for mailing purpose { metodoacamufortressx[AT]yahoo{DOT}com } note:use this email the way you use yours in the stand email format

    Posted by Carol Thomas2y | January 13, 2015, 4:48 pm
  11. If you are looking for a fast means to get your lover back it is simple just contact this powerful spell caster called Dr.Abolo through these following means via email:(abolospell@hotmail.com). And through mobile on (+2347052534659) This man is so powerful that he is capable to bring back ex lover and restore broken relationship or marriages within the space of 48 hours and his work is great that a lot of people recommend him on social network even Google recommend him as the best spell caster in Africa. Just contact him and get your problems solved.

    Posted by mavin | March 6, 2015, 6:49 am
  12. I am a lesbian, i was in a relationship with my girlfriend right from high school, indeed i never regretted each moment i spend with her and it came a time she wanted to end the relationship and move on with this new guy she met, i felt so confused, i love her so much and had to plead with her to come back to me but all effort to get her back did not work out. I wanted her back at all cost and had to seek for the help of a spell caster but the first one i met did not work,i wasted so much time believing him and at the end nothing work but yet i did no give up as i had to try another one whose name is Priest Ajigar and he was the one that finally brought her back to me in just 4 days after the spell was done, i am a very happy person today as i love lesbianism life and i never could live without her. I would advice if you need a powerful spell caster either to get your boyfriend or girlfriend back, get your husband back, get a new partner? You don’t have to look further for other spell casters, explain your problem by sending email to priest Ajigar (priestajigarspells @ live . com)

    Posted by Wendy Chad | March 8, 2015, 6:27 pm
  13. I am 26 year old lesbian, i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend right from high school, indeed i never regretted each moment i spend with her and it came a time she wanted to end the relationship and move on with this new guy she met, i felt so confused, i love her so much and had to plead with her to come back to me but all effort to get her back did not work out. I wanted her back at all cost and had to seek for the help of a spell caster but the first one i met did not work,i wasted so much time believing him and at the end nothing work but yet i did no give up as i had to try another one whose name is Berit and she was the one that finally brought her back to me in just 4 days after the spell was done, i am a very happy person today as i love lesbianism life and i never could live without her. I would advice if you need a powerful spell caster either to get your boyfriend or girlfriend back, get your husband back, get a new partner? You don’t have to look further for other spell casters, explain your problem by sending email to Berit Magical Temple (beritmagicaltemple@gmail.com)

    Posted by Batista Elissa | April 11, 2015, 4:56 am
  14. My name is Paul Amir from UK I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex Wife 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when she broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Lucy told me about a spell caster who helped him in the same problem too his name is Dr olori. I email Dr olori the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my Wife gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have her back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr olori for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is (drolorispiritualtemple@gmail.com) you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too or call +2349036357575..

    Posted by mr ayoub | August 14, 2015, 3:11 pm
  15. THANKS TO DR BENEDICT FOR SOLVING MY PROBLEMS
    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My name is Andy Sowers,i live in Australia,and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn’t love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{benedictsolutioncentre@yahoo.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster DR benedict. So.
    So,if you are in a similar problem or any kind of problems you can also contact him via his email(benedictsolutioncentre@yahoo.com}he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life.his email again is{benedictsolutioncentre@yahoo.com}.
    HE ALSO SPECIALIZE IN THE THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS;
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) If you want to be promoted in your office.
    (3) If you want a child.
    (4) if you have any sickness like ( H I V/AIDS ),(CANCER) or any sickness
    (5) if you are deaf and blind and you want to see and hear again.
    once again make sure you contact him if you have any problem he will help you. his email address is(benedictsolutioncentre@yahoo.com}

    Posted by bentensheet | August 15, 2015, 1:21 am
  16. i cant just stop thanking this great man for what he has done in my life because without him i dont know were i would have been now thank you drzizi for bringing back my husband to me if you are out there and you are having any issue with your relationship or you want your lover back or any problem at all you can contact this great man through his email@drzizitemple@gmail.com
    THANKS DRZIZI,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    Posted by martha | August 19, 2015, 5:31 am
  17. i am so happy today because of what dr ALLI did for me,my fiance broke up with me last three month because he thought i was cheating on him,so for the past three month now in have trying to plead to him but he still say the same thing that he does not want us to come back again that he can not trust me so i came in contact with dr ALLI who told me that my lover is going to come back to me if i work with him so i did what he ask me to do,after that he call me that within 24hours that my lover is going to come back to me,can you believe that my lover is back to me ,he now love me more than before i am so happy spell is good when you meet dr ALLI if you need his help contact him [allispellhelp1@gmail.com] or call +2348149158514 call or email and i promise that he is going to help you with any problem ok my name is Pamela Doris i am from the United state of America

    Posted by pamela doris | August 20, 2015, 6:00 pm
  18. i am so happy today because of what dr ALLI did for me,my fiance broke up with me last three month because he thought i was cheating on him,so for the past three month now in have trying to plead to him but he still say the same thing that he does not want us to come back again that he can not trust me so i came in contact with dr ALLI who told me that my lover is going to come back to me if i work with him so i did what he ask me to do,after that he call me that within 24hours that my lover is going to come back to me,can you believe that my lover is back to me ,he now love me more than before i am so happy spell is good when you meet dr ALLI if you need his help contact him [allispellhelp1@gmail.com] or call +2348149158514 call or email and i promise that he is going to help you with any problem ok my name is Pamela Doris i am from the United state of America,

    Posted by pamela doris | August 20, 2015, 6:02 pm
  19. My mouth is full of testimonies, I am Micheal Sharon i base in USA, my husband Mr Micheal left the home for two years to south Africa for a tourist, where he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Dr Godsent and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should please forgive him. I am so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband..You can as well contact Dr Godsent at:godsentspellhelp@gmail.com OR you can also call his cell phone at: +2349038002051

    Posted by micheal sharon | August 20, 2015, 6:52 pm
  20. My mouth is full of testimonies, I am Micheal Sharon i base in USA, my husband Mr Micheal left the home for two years to south Africa for a tourist, where he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Dr Godsent and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should please forgive him. I am so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband..You can as well contact Dr Godsent at:godsentspellhelp@gmail.com OR you can also call his cell phone at: +2349038002051…

    Posted by micheal sharon | August 20, 2015, 7:03 pm
  21. I FEEL LIKE CRYING WHEN SHARING THIS TESTIMONIES THAT THE GREAT DR OFURE DID IN MY LIFE. MY NAME IS (JAMIE GIBSON) FROM UNITED STATE OF AMERICA (USA) IT ALL STARTED WHEN MY HUSBAND STARTED MISBEHAVING WITHOUT ANY REASON, I TRY TO UNDERSTAND HIM BUT THINGS WAS GETTING MORE COMPLICATING TO THE EXTENT EVERYTHING WAS AFFECTING MY KIDS, I SPENT MUCH MONEY TIME AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE SURE I UNDERSTAND HIM AND KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR MARRIAGE BUT NOTHING GOOD COME OUT OF IT, IT GET TO THE POINT WHEN HE DIVORCE ME AND STARTED DATING MY BEST FRIEND, THAT WAS WHEN I NOTICE THE REASON FOR HIS EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON. BUT I NEVER GIVE UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM WITH MY LIFE AND HE IS THE FATHER OF MY TWO KIDS, AND I DON’T WANT THEM TO GROW WITHOUT A FATHER, AFTER TWO YEARS A FRIEND THAT HAS THE SAME PROBLEM INTRODUCE ME TO A MAN THAT HELP HER CALLED DR OFURE. AT FIRST I DOUBT BECAUSE AM A HUMAN AND I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING TO BRING HIM BACK, BUT I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE, WITHING THE NEXT 48HOURS I SAW HIM AT MY DOOR POST WHEN I WAS GETTING READY FOR WORK, I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHY HE CAME TO SEE ME, AFTER EVERYTHING HE BEGGED FOR FORGIVENESS, AND CAME BACK BEEN WITH GOOD INTENTION, NOT ONLY THAT ALL THE PEOPLE THAT EAT MY MONEY TRYING TO GET HIM BACK RETURN EVERYTHING TO ME TODAY WE ARE HAPPY FAMILY AND KEEP NO SECRET TO EACH OTHERS, MY HUSBAND IS THE BEST, AND I SAY THANKS TO DR OFURE. CONTACT HIM WITH HIS EMAIL ADDRESS (ofuresolutionhome@outlook.com) HE IS THE BEST AND HE WILL SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS INCLUDING PREGNANCY AND ALL (ofuresolutionhome@outlook.com)I WILL CONTINUE TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR GOOD WORK.

    Posted by jamie gibson | August 21, 2015, 11:30 pm
  22. Amazing Spell Caster DR LOVE
    I reading some articles online about Dr Love Spell Caster (drlovespellcastersolution@gmail.com), (drlovesolution@yahoo.com) Tel:2348038096203 how he has changed people’s lives for better and how he haved reconnected people after their breakups,and I’m so desperate to bring my ex boyfriends back to me because My ex lied about his past to make it seem like he was more experienced than he really was and he hurt me terribly about that And now that this new amazing man did somewhat a similar thing, it broke me too. A little bit over a year ago, my boyfriend played a really mean April fools joke on me by pretending to be my ex and trying to threaten me and I hated it but he apologized. A month after that, I finally told him about my past and he absolutely hated me for it.I didn’t comfort him about it like I should have because I know it hurt him a lot. He harassed me for about two weeks, to the point where I physically got sick from all the name calling and the threatening. It really scarred me. And since than, I felt even more insecure in the relationship because I risked my heart again and I thought how could another man be so cruel to me.
    he acted fine until the next day when he tried to break up with me. I get I caused this because I know that I shouldn’t be going back so far in his past. Its because of my insecurities. I still feel hurt about but I am willing to let it all go and change for the better. I have been trying to tell him that I will change and be such a better girlfriend to him. He already told me he doesn’t love me but he is willing to give me one last chance. Iv been such a nagging annoying girlfriend and I don’t know what to do anymore because I know that this is my fault as well. I feel like a lot of it has been my fault, and I cant live with myself knowing I lost this guy. This is the first guy that really helped me through my problems and really was faithful to me. I cant loose him. I really do love him and I am willing to really put the past behind us, Its just he doesn’t love me anymore and knowing that, its hard for me to function. I break into tears every hour of the day, I cry myself to sleep, I miss him so much and I miss what we used to have.I don’t think I can live without him. I am completely broken, and I am physically starting to get sick to where I am dizzy and nauseas and actually getting sick.I don’t want to look back and know that I didn’t do everything I could to get him back. I honestly have never felt such horrible pain in my life. He has been the worst heart break of them all. when Dr Love hear all my story and feel my pain he promise me to help bring back Terry in between 2 days so it amazing in my eyes how Dr Love did everything like magic the next day i saw Terry on my door Knocking with rose flower on his left hand and this is how my Love back to me and live happy now thanks so much Dr love i owe you allot of appreciation for rescue me from being sick.
    Sarah.

    Posted by Sarah | August 24, 2015, 8:48 am
  23. the only person that i can bodly say say can solve any relationship problem or any problem at all is this great man called drzizi after i came in contact with him thank you drzizi for restoring my family and my relationship you can contat him through his email @drzizitemple@gmail.com for your problems

    Posted by michelle | August 26, 2015, 8:26 am
  24. When your spouse is having an affair, your world becomes a confusing, scary place full of hurt, shame, and anger. You will wonder why this has happened and what action(s) to take. The question of what to do when you learn your spouse is having an affair will have a different answer at different times and under different circumstances. What you should do in your specific situation might be a lot different from what someone else should consider doing, but in most cases, it starts by deciding what you really want to take place, and why you want the answer. If you have decided to divorce quietly, move to another country (or planet) and just forget the whole ordeal, what you should probably do to make that happen smoothly will be a lot different than if you really want to know if you’re likely to still be married to the same partner 10, 20 or more years from now. As a guess, you aren’t online looking for advice that supports that choice, since that path seems pretty clear for most people, once chosen.Assuming that what you are really looking for is advice to help your marriage survive, let me make a few suggestions about what you can actually do.When i met my husband then it crystal clear to me that he was the man of my dream. When i looked at him, i saw perfection. He was tall, respectful, looked at me like i was the only one on earth i mean words cannot describe that moment that is the day we met. It lives on here in my head. I know i was not blind and i know there was nothing really to make me suspect he also like the company of men as well as women. Yes i mean we were sexually active just like every other normal couple who are in love. It never seem like he was avoiding me when i want to have *** like he always comes up with excuse no he was just like every other man. I only got to know when i was two years into our marriage. The first year was healthy for us i mean we were happy and had our first child. It was my sister who caught him passionately kissing another man his car after spending all night together in the movie theater. He told me he was going out with friends for a drink or two. I was hurt because he was not honest with me and also was cheating on me. Even before i knew, this thing he had going on started before we got married at least he was honest about that. Hadn’t been my sister, i would have been locked in the dark. I have nothing against same sex relationship but when you claim to love a woman and also want to be with a man it becomes a problem i mean you are either with one or the other. You can’t be married to me and expect me to shear you with another be it a woman or a man. We promise we will stay together just us and not us with some one else. I gave him an ultimatum it was either me or his male love i was hoping his love for me will make him pick me but no he ended our marriage simply before he could not pick. He wanted it all i wished i never made him choose then. I was in a traumatized i could not understand how he could be so selfish i mean we have a son together you don’t just walk out like that. I remember i even asked him to go ahead with relationship with his lover as long as he was here with me but then i realized i would be at the losing end in all ways. I was so much in love with him letting him go was not an option for me i mean i knew that if it wasn’t him it was going to me no other. After months of trying and searching with no success to find a way to make him see i am more important than his lover i came across a lot of comments on the internet of how a spell caster Akpe Osilama and how he has help a lot of individual with relationship and life problems. I was skeptical about it but i thought giving it a try would not kill me. What can i say, my experience with Akpe Osilama was real, honest i mean everything that was said about him was nothing but all true. I shared my problem with him that is how my husband ended our marriage because i was not OK with him have a male lover even when we were married and what i needed him to do for me. I got the materials to get the spell that was going to get me my husband. I could only find one of the spell materials but he help me get the rest with the total estimated cost i sent to him for help. I don’t know how to explain what happen just after the spell process was concluded and made effective with the parcel he sent to me. I was like a fairy tale i mean i got my love back my family was whole again. My husband picked me he choose to be with me. It been more than six months now all i can see is a man loves and dedicate his self to me he goes every where with me aside work though yeah. Contact him here at chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast”at””yahoo””dot””com” convert email address to the standard email format. Hope you all with similar problem and any kind of mess you find yourself in life get all help from Akpe Osilama also. I also hope this comment will help a lot of you trying to keep your marriage bond strong.//

    Posted by Joy Wills | August 27, 2015, 7:09 pm
  25. MY NAME IS MARY CURLY FROM HOUSTON,TEXAS.I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS OR MAGIC UNTIL I MET THIS SPELL CASTER ONCE WHEN I WENT TO AFRICA IN JANUARY LAST YEAR ON A BUSINESS SUMMIT. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE MAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO TEXAS, MY BOYFRIEND(NOW HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY BOYFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS NAME IS DR OMOSUN AND HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS EKEGIOKHOSHRINETEMPLE.OUTLOOK.COM ……

    Posted by marycurly | August 30, 2015, 9:30 am
  26. *Hello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Prophet Mark was able to bring my wife back to me, myself and my wife were on a serious breakup, even before then we were always quarreling fighting and doing different ungodly act..My wife packed her things out of the house and we had to live in different area, despite all this i was looking for a way to re_unite with her, not until i met Prophet Mark the great spell caster who was able to bring my wife back home, Prophet Mark cast a love spell for me, and after some time i started seeing results about the spell….Today my family is back again and we are happy living fine and healthy, with Prophet Mark all my dream came through in re_uniting my marriage, friends in case you need the help of Prophet Mark kindly mail him on(prophetmark@outlook.com) Sir i will forever recommend you!!! thanks

    Posted by michael | August 31, 2015, 4:11 am
  27. I was barring for 7 years and my husband hardly talk to me because anytime I conceived, it will fallout to be miscarriage or I will lost the baby and bad story for me because of my HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE which I try for so many time, it couldn’t possible for the doctors to cure it for me and they said with that I will not able to have a child and my mother-in law was not even talking to me all she was saying is that my husband should drive me out of the house and marry another woman, so i keep on praying and i saw the work of DR zumalu online and i just say let me contact him and explain my problem to him and he said he will first cure me on my HIGH BLOOD PRESURE before and after one week on his Medications, the Doctor confirm me with low (LBP) After that, i mate with my husband and after 3 months a great miracle fell on me and i am happy with My 8months baby boy, if you also need a help please contact his email address: (doctorzumalu@gmail.com)/TEL Tel :+234 702373829

    Posted by Muren | September 1, 2015, 5:17 am

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