Ask Alma

Should I take back an ex after 6 years?

Ask AlmaIf, after 6 years, you still think of a key ex in your past, and the opportunity arises, should you take it?

Alma’s Answer:

Let me tell you a little story…a true story that immediately came to mind when I read this question. During one of my trips on the “R Family Vacation” cruises, I met an amazing lesbian couple from Australia that still bring a smile to my face when I think about them. I can’t remember their names or exactly how old they were when I met them but they were both over 55. These women were intelligent, classy, successful and clearly IN LOVE with each other.

I first met them at dinner at the beginning of the week-long cruise. There were about 10 of us and as luck would have it I sat next to them. I was first struck by their grace and calm energy. Needless to say I started a conversation with them soon after being introduced. One of the questions I asked was how long they had been a together. They smiled and this is what they told me. They had met while they were in their 20’s. They dated and then were in a committed relationship for a couple of years. Unfortunately, for whatever reason it didn’t work out and they parted ways. They thought about each other every once in a while as some of us sometimes do. However, they lost contact with each other and didn’t see each other for years…and by that I mean like over 18 years! If I remember correctly, I don’t think they even lived close to each other. Somehow their paths crossed again. Both of them had ended long term relationships and were single. They became reacquainted with each other and fell in love…for real this time because I could see it in their eyes. They treated each other with such tenderness and respect. I can’t remember details but let me tell you, this hopeless romantic was crying like a fool after they told me the story.

So to answer your question…YES TAKE IT! Not to say that a happily-ever-after ending is guaranteed in your situation. I don’t know the circumstances of your breakup or what your relationship was like when you two were together. But my goodness after hearing this story wouldn’t you want to at least give it a shot?!



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The information provided on The L Stop is meant to raise awareness about different perspectives, cultures, values, etc. Because everyone is different, the ideas expressed on this site are the ideas of the individual writer’s and cannot be used to diagnose or treat individual sexual, romantic, or psychological problems.

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About Alma

A Chicago original of Mexican decent, Alma has been part of the Chicago’s LGBTQ community longer than she’d like to admit. She’s been maneuvering through its diverse social circles, networking relentlessly in an attempt to satisfy her need to understand and get to know the people that make up our amazing and unique community. Her path began as a social butterfly whose interests were solely to meet and entertain friends. Now her desire is to channel her strengths, talents and passion into ways she can be of service for the Chicago LGBTQ community that she so loves and respects.


One Response to “Should I take back an ex after 6 years?”

  1. I agree with Alma, and it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Or, it might a little bit depending on how she answers. Regardless, once you ask and hear her answer, you’ll know how to move forward.

    BTW, Alma – love the story. 🙂

    Posted by JT | May 23, 2011, 10:46 am

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