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Mothers’ Day w/ The L Stop: Giving Love

Mother’s Day is happening on Sunday, May 8th. What do you have planned for your mothers? Here, at The L Stop, we plan on celebrating Mother’s Day by writing about the women who bore, raised, nurtured, taught, drove us crazy, and maybe even traumatized us. The spelling in the title was spelled with a purpose–it’s a holiday for all mothers.


Despite the violent events that transpired over the start of the month, did you know that Mother’s Day had pacifist roots? It was a call to peace by women who didn’t want their children harming the children of other women. The holiday has changed over time to celebrate the women who gave birth to us.

Ladylike

My mother is a petite Chinese-Vietnamese-American woman who emigrated to California after the Vietnam War. She was my grandmother’s 11th child, born and raised in the middle of the Vietnam War where they could hear and feel the tremors of exploding napalms. My mother may not have Amy Chua’s level of education and prestige, but she is also a tiger mom. I was not allowed sleepovers or to participate in traditionally masculine activities. She taught me how to be ladylike (this must be why I mostly identify as a femme). My mother is fierce!

Like many people in our city of immigrants, my mother and I are separated by distance. I’d try to call my parents every now and then to see how they’re doing. On multiple occasions, my mom would try to cut our conversations short. She’d say what she wanted and then she’d hang up. One day, I decided to ask her why, and she told me that she thought I didn’t love her. You see, like all parents, my mother isn’t perfect. At the age of 4, I was told that she had tried to kill me when I was a baby. I was traumatized. Consequently, we lacked the ability to properly communicate with one another. She has tried to bribe me for my affection with food and gifts on numerous occasions. Nothing seemed to work. I was still daddy’s little girl. She said that I seemed to hung onto my father’s every word, and she soon gave up trying to win my affection. When she told me this, I said to her, “But mom, haven’t you noticed that I’m always the one trying to length our phone conversations? Why would you think I didn’t love you?” With that, I made my mother cry. My mother may not be perfect, and though I could have been raised by my aunts, I know that I would not be who I am today if it wasn’t for all the unique experiences that made me, me. Letting your mom know that you love her is the best gift that you can give to her.

For those of us who want to do more than just tell our mothers that we love them, here some links where you can find gifts for lesbian moms. I’m sure we’ve all seen the usual Mother’s Day gifts advertisements so I thought we’d end with something a little harder to find.

Here’s some last minute/belated finds:

Cafe Press

Zazzle.com

Snugfits

Mombian

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About JT

JT is originally from San Francisco, CA. She graduated from UC Santa Cruz with a degree in psychology, focusing primarily on gender and sexuality research. Seeking a change in 2008, she moved to Chicago, and what a change it has been! She can been seen walking and yelping about various Chicago neighborhoods. JT identifies as queer and bisexual, and she is currently dating a straight man. She has an unapologetic love for civil rights, whether it’d be for racial, gender, sexual, or political socioeconomic equality. Occasionally, she volunteers with Howard Brown Health Center to promote safer sex in Boystown.

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