Why I can’t attend Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival

Michigan Fest

Michigan Womens Festival

1 – I would get kicked out or beaten up for entering the Hirsute Womyn’s workshop because I would be wearing a mustache and beard combo held on by an elastic band. I’ve never been successful at cultivating facial hair. But I so want to be included and accepted. I think that my efforts to emulate them would be taken the wrong way and they would unceremoniously oust me. Okay, they don’t have a Hirsute Womyn’s workshop this year, but I’m pretty sure they had one at some point, or maybe it was a rumor. I’ve been around a while to hear of the goings on for the last 25 years.

2 – I would get kicked out of the Womyn of Color tent. Pink is a color. White people are not really white (albinos notwithstanding). Why are the Womyn of color separated anyway?

3 – Work is the reason we take vacation. Everyone is expected to work at least two four-hour shifts. Yeah, not happening.

4 – I don’t like the whole separatist thing. Boys are segregated entirely. I think kids should be all together. Separating the boys is almost misandristic, and does not in my opinion promote a loving, free and accepting environment but rather focuses on and augments differences instead of celebrating them.

5 – I don’t believe self-expression is best demonstrated by walking around topless or entirely naked. I believe our bodies are sacred and that if we choose to share them with others, it should be done intimately and privately. I don’t want to have to be subjected to naked bodies randomly in my line of sight.

6 – They misspell the word women with womyn and womon. Avoidance of the word “men” is at this point (2010) just annoying and somewhat petty.

7 – Six days would cost around $500 and includes three vegetarian meals per day. Where’s the meat? Why are lesbians stereotyped as vegetarians and why is this stereotype perpetuated at a festival of women? I mean, I’m expected to bring my own lodging (e.g., tent) so can’t they throw me a burger or a hot dog or even a fried fish fillet?

8 – There’s no swimming pool.

9 – I fear it would be a stifling atmosphere geared toward political correctness. Because for all its efforts at promoting freedom, lines exist that should not be there at all. For example the Griot (storytelling) Crafts workshop is for Womyn of Color only. And there’s a group for Native/Indigenous women only. Why won’t they educate the non-color Euro-mutt woman here? If they promote cultural experience, then they should provide it to all attendees.

10 – Stilt-walking workshop for womyn. Really? I’m just inches away from dwarfism and I’m offended by this somehow. Why or how is stilt-walking a workshop for womyn? The claim is that it is an ancient art. I don’t get the connection.

You May Also Like:

Back to blog

About Karen

Karen is a recent escapee of corporate america and was raised in the Chicago area. She is quick-witted, non-political and non-comforming, but an astute observer of everyday life. Loves women.


4 Responses to “Why I can’t attend Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival”

  1. Please visit my page. I would like you to voice your opinion about the Womyn of Color tent. Thank you!

    Posted by kia walker | June 19, 2011, 1:32 am
  2. Judging by the views you have expressed in this blog. I think your right, you wouldn’t have a good time at Mich Fest. Because, it is for open- minded, and non judgmental, understanding women. Work on that and then buy a ticket. It’s a beautiful community. It’s not about excluding men. Its about coming together and growing as WOMEN. For one week out of the year. You have the rest of the year to be ignorant. 🙂

    Posted by Jessy | October 23, 2011, 7:35 pm
  3. Why is it so important for you to express why you won’t come? Apparently you do not understand this event..nor have you experienced yet to judge it..

    Posted by spoken | October 24, 2011, 10:17 am
  4. Much of your irony and snark invests would be quite funny if it weren’t so willfully ignorant.

    Posted by juanita | January 1, 2013, 7:04 pm

Post a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.